Wasn't that good? Don't you feel a little better knowing that you're not the only one who has problems they try to cover up? And just think about all the energy we spend trying to cover up those problems - can't you think of much better things to do with that energy?
To get the ball rolling, I'm going to drop some of the shields I've been hiding behind. I hope it helps somebody out there.
- I feel like a failure professionally. Even though I have a graduate degree, even though I have a job (which is itself an accomplishment in this economy), even though I'm managing to keep a roof over my family's heads and food in our stomachs, I feel like a failure, because I feel like I should have done more in the past and should be doing more now. I feel like I should be "exceptional" and the fact that I don't think I am just eats away the joy of anything I accomplish.
- I hate my body. I'm about 75 pounds overweight and out of shape. Even though I've bought a bicycle and go riding a couple of times a week, I feel like I'm not exercising enough. Even though I try to eat healthy food and cut down on unhealthy food, I feel like I'm not really able to do it because the things I want to eat (candy, ice cream, pizza), just taste so good.
- I don't treat my wife and my kids as well as I'd like. I don't hit them, or anything like that. But I can be overly critical. I yell sometimes. I don't always notice when someone needs my attention. I know I should do better, but a lot of times it's easier not to. A lot of times I'm just so wrapped up in myself that I don't notice what anyone else needs.
- Hell, I'm battling "Perfection" as I write this post. Every word I type is having to force its way past an inner monologue yelling "You're faking it! You're just confessing to these things so no one will suspect there are worse things hiding under there."
And maybe that inner voice is right. But this isn't the final step anyway. This is just the first step on the way to being "Real."
Jason, props and (hugs) to you, sir!
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